I was at the swimming pool this week and an old lady asked me what I did for a living. I told her I write about free videogames on the internet. "Oh," she said, "Like SpillTender, Trills, Monster Streaking, Morse and Maddening Relapse 2?"

I stared at her.

"You know, you should write about Birdland too."

"Shut up," I said. "You're fictional. This whole damn pool is fictional. Shut up. Just shut up."

Then I swam away (front crawl).

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