Once upon a time, seven dwarves set out into the jungle with the simple dream of constructing an underground chimp jail. You can't write sentences like that about most games. But in the context of Dwarf Fortress, the legendary world simulator under permanent construction by programmer Tarn Adams and his brother Zach, it is a perfectly reasonable statement.
Dwarf Fortress is my favourite game. And since it's essentially a machine for generating weird fantasy stories, it's even more fun to narrate than it is to actually play. Hence my previous diary series - The Basement Of Curiosity - which concerned the aforementioned chimp zoo. After a lengthy 25-episode run, the Basement finally came to an end on camera, at this year's EGX Digital event. And while I won't spoil its conclusion, I strongly recommend you watch it for yourself, right here. The ending will... surprise you.
]]>Dwarf Fortress might be the most interesting game ever made. It might even be the best. But it’s certainly not the most accessible. It looks weird, its control scheme appears to be lifted from some sort of alien church organ, and a good proportion of its features are in fact collisions between the many, many bugs that have sprung up in its thirteen-year development history. There’s a more user-friendly version of the game coming to Steam at some point, but with its release date listed as “time is subjective”, that might not be imminent.
But even if you’re not keen to jump into the game as it stands, don’t worry. The secret of Dwarf Fortress is that it’s actually a weird story generator disguised as a management game, so games are just as fun to read about, as they are to play. And luckily for you, I’ve been chronicling one such game since the start of the year. It’s an epic tale of obsession, hubris and eagle intestines, and given that it’s just finished its first 23-episode season (so I can go and meet the game’s creator on stage at PAX West), now’s the perfect time to read the story so far. You’ll find every chapter linked below.
]]>Surprise! This is the end of the first season of the Basement of Curiosity - but it’s not the end of the story. The series is taking a break… but only because Nate needs to get ready to go and chat with Tarn Adams, the creator of Dwarf Fortress, on Sunday 1st September. Read on to find out more...
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On the last day of the seventh year of Lorbam’s fort, the dwarves see sunlight for the last time. The last stairs up to the jungle are kicked down, and stone slabs hammered over the holes left behind. The final team of workers scuttles down into a nondescript tunnel beneath the trees, and it is walled up from the inside. At last, the fort is cut off from the world.
]]>Last time on the BoC: With the fort due to be sealed up from the outside world by Dwarven Christmas, the dwarves spent the autumn getting their belongings underground. A ruinous tavern brawl seemed to be a bad omen for the cabin fever to come, until the increasingly autocratic Lorbam made an example of the perpetrator. Despite being the head of one of the most illustrious families in the basement, punch-happy Ushrir was locked in a cell with a beak dog, to demonstrate just what happens to those who disrupt the Leader’s vision.
]]>Last time on the BoC: Fort founder Lorbam has lost her mind, and ordered the whole fortress - once a thriving tourist destination - sealed off from the surface so that she can breed her beasts in the safety of the Great Beneath. During preparations for the move underground, the fort was very nearly breached by a Werepanda: only the bolts of a sharp-eyed hunter - and the harrowing resilience of a war tiger - saved the day.
]]>Last time on the BoC: Having finally achieved her dream of a breeding pair of chimps, at the cost of making a trade deal with the elves go very, very bad, fort founder Lorbam has become… strange. Increasingly distrustful of the outside world, she has decreed that the whole settlement be moved underground, and at midwinter, the overworld gates of the Basement will be shut altogether. Crikey.
]]>Last time on the BoC: Due to a prolonged water shortage during a goblin siege, the dwarves finally breached the underground to slake their thirst. Despite attacks by giant bats and a mishap with a captured goblin swordsman, great treasures were unearthed below - basement founder Lorbam retrieved a feather from Tol, the great winged worm, as well as using herself as bait to catch a mighty jabberer alive.
]]>Last time on the BoC: After a wild summer in which the fortress was revamped, a ghost wrestler arrived, and the Bird Hole was finally bricked over, autumn arrived with its traditional goblin siege. This one was heavier than most: despite an attack from within the enemy ranks by a shapeshifting Werepanda, the blockade remained all season, leaving the fort without a supply of water - and its founder slowly dying of thirst...
]]>Last Time on the BoC: With the exception of a squad of sharpshooters hurling themselves off a roof to punch an invading army, and a vast two-headed giant muscling its way into the fort (only to get thoroughly Idded), the Basement entered a period of shocking prosperity...
]]>Last Time on the BoC: The fort’s period of civil disorder came to a bloody conclusion, and a new wave of immigrants bolstered efforts to begin constructing a suite of new living quarters deep underground. Siege defences were also bolstered, with the construction of a new sniper tower.
]]>Last Time on the BoC: The dwarves partied through a siege. The tantruming Udil claimed her first life, before starting an apocalyptic pub fight. The underground was revealed, in all its dank glory.
]]>Last time on the BoC: The dwarves began digging out some grand new accommodation, and the chef Ushat built a legendary chair called the Hot Thrower, featuring a cool picture of a leopard. The tantrums of the furnacehand Udil grew more intense - and so did conditions in the Basement’s zoo, thanks to the chthonic, squawking sorrow of the Bird Hole.
]]>Last time on the BoC: The Basement’s zoo got some major upgrades, and the fort rode out a goblin siege through the time honoured tactic of hiding. A furnace worker called Udil snapped under the pressure, and some migrants chose exactly the wrong moment to try moving in.
]]>Last Time on the BoC: After a catastrophic goblin attack slaughtered the entire military (except Id), as well as their bloodthirsty mayor/captain, the Basement began a frantic programme of fortifications. Former mayor Urist, transformed by grief, was re-elected, and pledged to put aside her differences with Lorbam the Founder in order to make the Basement Of Curiosity the finest zoo in the land.
]]>Last time on the BoC: The War Mayor Dashmob’s bombastic drive to militarise the fortress met a grisly end, as a massive mounted goblin army came sweeping out of the jungle. The War Mayor and his entire army died, slaughtered to the last in holding the goblins off. Everyone, that is, except the seemingly indestructible Id. Now, Id and the Basement’s other survivors must pick up the pieces, and find a new way to survive.
]]>Last time on the BoC: After an Autumn spent beefing up the fort’s military, the new War Mayor Dashmob was spoiling for a fight, when a forest titan marauded into the valley. And while the Mayor and his soldiers made short work of the beast, it turned out it the Titan was only the palate-cleansing prelude to a massive goblin invasion…
]]>Last time on the BoC: Following near-disaster at the gristly green hands of a goblin raiding party, the War Mayor Dashmob usurped the throne of mayor Urist, and began a campaign to modernise and expand the fort’s small but spirited military. A tomb complex was built, a dead donkey was put on display at the zoo, and Amost, the daughter of fortress mascot Id, engaged in some incredibly eerie playtime.
]]>Last time on the BoC: The arrival of marauding goblins ended the brief rule of the usurping mayor Urist, and the battle to drive them off saw the fort’s first non-accidental fatalities, as well as the emergence of several new heroes. But if the Basement’s founder Lorbam hoped to resume business as usual in her weird little zoo when the dust cleared, she was sorely mistaken…
]]>Last time on the BoC: The culture war between fort founder Lorbam and the usurper mayor Urist reached a head with the “accidental” death of administrator Mistem. Maddened by the insulting tomb constructed for her supporter, and by the droning of a hopeless freestyle rapper, Urist lost the plot and made some greaves. But amidst all this drama, nobody noticed the goblin raiders approaching until it was too late...
]]>Last time on the BoC: A new migrant, Urist, declared herself mayor, leading to a power struggle with former expedition leader Lorbam. A lot of politically controversial artefacts were made, and wrestlin’ dad Id got blasted into the mince zone by a pack of dingos.
Late Winter, Y2
We return to the Basement of Curiosity at the bum end of winter, in the mildew-stinking, sand-walled cavern that serves as the fort’s hospital. Id ‘Snakebuster’ is convulsing on a palm wood table, his limbs mauled, and his chest so badly houndwrecked you can see his lungs. He’s the very image of a bloke who’s learned the problems inherent in wrestling wild dogs.
]]>Last time on the BoC: The fortress doubled in population, and the dwarves embarked on a serious programme of home improvements. A kobold with no tongue dropped by to visit, and expedition leader Lorbam’s blood started appearing in spooky places.
Mid Summer, Y2
Trumpets sound deep in the jungle, flat notes hanging on the hot air like birds of prey. The inhabitants of the Basement hold their breaths in trepidation - the fort has been beset by weird omens of late, and they are ill prepared for any attack.
]]>Last time on the BoC: Expedition leader Lorbam captured the first set of animals for her underground zoo, and the fort gained its first warrior, in the form of Id “Snakebuster” Osustavuz. A weasel disrupted the fabric of spacetime, and two miners fell in love.
]]>Last time on the BoC: The dwarves of the Basement discovered the concept of medicine just in time to stop the expedition’s demise due to falling logs. Some immigrants arrived to help realise Lorbam’s vision of an underground zoo, while Lorbam herself scraped together the fort’s loose change to buy that zoo’s first exhibit: a skinny hound.
]]>Last time on the BoC: Expedition leader Lorbam shepherded her dwarves to the Jungle of Hides, where they spent the spring digging out a home in a lush valley. Rakust the lumberjack got his leg bruted by a tree, and Imush the craftsdwarf got extremely excited about bins.
Author’s disclaimer: Once again, things get pretty weird here. Accordingly, I should remind you that I’m not truly the writer of this column: the game Dwarf Fortress is. And I have limited control over said game. Essentially, my role is to report on its decisions, and attempt to recognise patterns amidst the electric madness.
]]>Most articles about Dwarf Fortress start with a long-winded attempt to explain Dwarf Fortress, but this one won’t. I don’t want to tell you what this game does - I want to show you, right now. Then, if you’re interested, you can learn all about what it is afterwards.
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