Over New Year, the English seaside town of Scarborough received a rare Arctic visitor: a walrus, dubbed Thor, who rested in the harbour for several days. A feel-good novelty story in the news! What many news outlets politely neglected to mention is that, to the delight and horror of the gathered crowds, Thor had a big ol' wank in front of everyone. Thankfully, one chronicler of modern English culture is brave enough to capture this moment. Yes, absolutely a walrus cracking one off is now in Duke Smoochem, that astonishing upcoming Duke Nukem 3D level made by Dan Douglas.
]]>It’s well documented that creativity can help quell the waves of stormy mental health seas. Hours of documentaries chronicle how artists expressed their struggles through brushstrokes, or how an actor agonised over creating an accurate character to counterbalance their imposter syndrome or anxiety. It’s unlikely many creatives have found “refuge” in a 27 year old retro game engine - but that’s exactly how Dan Douglas talks about his sprawling mod for Duke Nukem 3D.
]]>For several weeks, a Nier: Automata player has caused intrigue and excitement by posting mysterious images and videos from an area no one had seen before. Was it a secret area? An unfinished area? A hoax? Viral marketing? A mod? If it was a mod, it was far more complex than any so far. Turns out, that's because a group of fans have secretly been making their own mod tools, and plan to release them soon. In the meantime, I've enjoyed pranksters memeing on the mystery by creating secret churches in other games, including Half-Life 2 and Super Mario 64.
]]>I've said before that the greatest chronicle of English culture is a Duke Nukem 3D level, and that continues to be true. In a bleak country full of absurd events happening at breakneck pace, modder Dan Douglas is doing his best to capture them in his level, Duke Smoochem 3D. Barely a day after British prime minister Boris Johnson announced his intent to resign, Douglas has already added it to his yet-unfinished level. And yes, he's made it even sillier.
]]>The Anglo-Saxon Chronicle. The diary of Samuel Pepys. The movie Mary Poppins. For years, people have sought to understand English culture and history by consulting such artifacts. When future generations wish to understand what England was like in the early 21st century, they'll simply need to play a Duke Nukem 3D level. Since June 2021, Dan Douglas has been making a DN3D level which captures facets of the real England: town centres, Wetherspoons, Greggs, a sausage roll nativity, Michael Gove dancing, lads, absolute madmen, life under Covid, performative patriotism, the Brexit bus, and so much more. It's astonishing.
]]>Law. Law always changes, and it's honestly a bit of a nightmare. Last Friday, Gearbox Software filed a suit against Apogee Software, the owners of Duke Nukem 3D developers* 3D Realms. Gearbox bought the Duke Nukem franchise off 'em back in 2010, and now they're accusing 3D Realms of failing to mention that they didn't own the copyright to some of the game's music.
This follows Gearbox's 2014 suit that (supposedly?) established their full ownership of the franchise, and is the result of another ongoing lawsuit by musician Bobby Prince against Gearbox (as well as Gearbox CEO Randy Pitchford and Valve Software), where he's claiming that he merely licensed his tracks to them rather than outright selling. Basically, Gearbox are trying to ensure they don't suffer legal costs because of 3D Realms' alleged cock-up. It is: messy.
]]>With a back catalogue including Duke Nukem 3D, Doom, and Wolfenstein 3D, Bobby Prince certainly helped define the sound of much of early 3D shooters. Like most folk, though, I reckon he's also a fan of getting paid for his work. Last week, the musician raised claims that 2016's expanded re-release Duke Nukem 3D: 20th Anniversary World Tour included his music without asking nicely beforehand. Now publishers Gearbox, their CEO Randy Pitchford, and Valve Software are all facing a lawsuit from Prince for allegedly distributing Prince's music without permission, nor paying him royalties.
]]>There's still a handful of modders hacking away at Duke Nukem 3D, and today they released the long-awaited third episode of The AMC TC. Possibly the most self-indulgent standalone Duke fan-game you'll ever see, featuring a convoluted story, ten playable characters and sprawling adventures across multiple worlds. I've had a soft spot for this beautiful mess for years now, but feared the project had stalled out after the second episode launched four years ago. I'm glad to be wrong. Check out the trailer below, and grab the (free and standalone) game from Mod DB here, no Duke needed.
]]>Old Man Duke Nukem has gotten the band back together to show us disrespectful whippersnappers what for in Duke Nukem 3D: 20th Anniversary Edition World Tour [official site]. Out today (in a few hours), it's a re-release of 3D Realms' 1996 first-person shooter with an extra episode made by the old gang. Original level designers Allen Blum III and Richard 'Levelord' Gray have made new levels, composer Lee Jackson has musicated them, and ol' Jon St. John is back in the recording booth saying movie quotes.
]]>Duke Nukem very nearly said, "It's time to announce a video game and prematurely leak the announcement of the aforementioned video game, and I'm all out of leaks." Very nearly. As rumoured, Gearbox Software last night announced Duke Nukem 3D: 20th Anniversary World Tour [official site]. It's an expanded and revamped re-release of 3D Realms' 1996 proto-Gone Home FPS, including a new episode and an (optional) 3D graphical makeover. What's neat is that Gearbox have reunited some of the old gang, including level designers, a musicman, and of course the voice of Duke.
]]>They're releasing another Duke Nukem, then. Gearbox are muttering to themselves and engaging in dreadful brandter so yup, it's on. Predictions: the return of jokes already ten years old when Duke Nukem 3D borrowed them twenty years ago; an awkward attempt to reframe Duke's earnest trashiness as 'ironic'; a game hoping to coast on former glories. If rumours and leaks are to be believed, the new game is Duke Nukem 3D: World Tour, a 'remastered' version of the 1996 FPS with new content and ugly lighting.
]]>When I think of gaming in the mid 90s, I think of a unique kind of grunginess. It’s like my mind’s got its finger on the Shift key with its left hand, and the Up arrow with its right, gliding swiftly through the sordid corridors of crematoriums, porn cinemas, hillbilly backwaters and dojos. But despite their muted tones of muddy browns and tombstone greys, these spaces were anything but dreary, brimming with richly-animated sprites, the promise of gory violence around every corner, and a tongue-in-cheek energy that felt clandestine, fresh, and fiendishly fun.
When I think of gaming in the mid 90s, I think of Build Engine games.
]]>Toilets. Great, aren't they?
]]>Have You Played? is an endless stream of game recommendations. One a day, every day of the year, perhaps for all time.
Even today, the opening levels of Duke Nukem 3D [official site] are exciting places to poke around. Flick light switches, disturb rats in toilet cubicles, have a waz, bounce pool balls around the table, and can kick bins just because. I'd put it up there with Deus Ex and Gone Home on the list of Games Where It's Cool To Poke At Stuff.
The face-shooting's pretty fun too.
]]>Alec wrote about some of his favourite gaming moments last week and I was inspired to put together something similar. Ever the structuralist, I decided that I'd string my favourite moments across a fictional interpretation of an actual day. Here is one of many days in my life, from a breakfast of champions to the blurred bottles at the heart of Saturday night.
]]>Want to play Duke Nukem forever? No, not Forever, the infamous, trashy, awful recent sequel. I mean, do you want to spend an eternity playing Duke Nukem 3D, the spirited, mechanically inventive, first-person shooter that made the King's name in the first place? The Duke Nukem 3D Megaton Edition released back in March has just added Steam Workshop support and made it easier to mod and play mods for the game than in its previous sixteen year history.
]]>Remember Duke Nukem Forever? I apologise for bringing it up, but it's important you realise that it was an imposter. A duck in Duke's clothes. There was a reason we were all excited about the possibility of a Duke Nukem game, and with the surprise release of Duke Nukem 3D: Megaton Edition you can see why. Devolver Digital are bringing a shinier, but not too shiny, version of the classic shooter to Steam, and they magicked up a trailer.
]]>Do you want to play Duke Nukem 3D for free? Well, since it's increasingly difficult to get hold of it on floppy disc and copy it across, the most practical way to do this would be to just take it from GOG.com. Cos they're giving it away for free. Sure, it takes some of the thrill away, but at least you won't be destroying the games industry in 1996. This freebie is intended to lure you in to spend more money at the site, as they've just launched their nonspecific Holiday Sale. Which holiday?! Is it Easter already?
]]>I'm forever in two minds about projects to graphically update olden games. On the one hand, shiny! On the other, snarling hand, there's a risk of messing up or losing the originally intended aesthetic effect - you're replacing the artists' work with that of someone else. Case in point, the just-released update for the Duke Nukem 3D High Resolution Texture Pack. Decide whether you'd snog, marry or avoid it below.
]]>It's always fun to hear about what new retro sweetmeat has found its way to Good Old Games' DRM-free servers - to sigh and think of times gone by, to think of how silly our hair was in 1995 and to wonder whether the Manic Street Preachers would be any good today if Richie hadn't gone missing.
Today, it's the turn of Duke Nukem 3D, along with a host of other old Apogee stuff. It's almost odd to think of people paying hard cash for Duke 3D these days - so many FPSes of that era simply haven't aged as well as their less graphics-reliant strategy, RPG and adventure contemporaries. Of course, Duke earned some 21st century stripes last year, with the well-received XBLA port, so it's nice to see him back on his original home too.
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