Fucksweeper is a difficult game to play in shared accommodation, a very difficult game to play in the crowded airport lounge I'm currently sitting in, and an incredibly difficult game to play on the airplane I will shortly be boarding. What is Fucksweeper? Discerning videogame cognoscente that you are, I feel like you should be able to read the title and form some broad conclusions. But for those who never owned a Windows PC in the 90s, Fucksweeper is a free, titillating, revolting, beautiful, apocalyptic new version of classic avoid-the-bombs grid puzzler Minesweeper that incorporates elements of dating sims and a vast quantity of generative AI filth. Maybe turn down the volume before watching this video.
]]>Normally when writing up a new game, I'd tell you how to play it. Today, I'm going to be massively self-indulgent and ask you to tell me. The game in question is Dungeon Sweeper, a nifty free Itch.io browser puzzler made with the Godot engine that, as the name suggests, has a certain amount in common with Windows classic Minesweeper.
]]>While I procrastinate as hard as the next desk jockey, in truth I've never had the patience for Minesweeper. It doesn't have the fast pace and stunning climax of Solitaire, y'know? So what if we jazz it up by smashing in another puzzle game. Like in Minesweeper Tetris, released for free on Steam this morning, which kinda adds Tetris by making the screen slowly fill in with fresh lines of mines, challenging you to clear mines quickly. It twists my melon, man.
]]>If you are among the rare unlucky people who don't experience pure exhilaration from attending virtual meetings on Microsoft Teams, good news: Microsoft have added a load of games to entertain you. From inside Teams, you can now play procrastination classics like Solitaire and Minesweeper as well as party games meant for oodles of people. You can even play co-op Minesweeper. And hey, if it happens inside Teams, no one can deny it's work. If anything, you're engaging with the business experience even harder. Be sure to mention that in your annual performance review.
]]>After dropping the ball with Solitaire merch, Microsoft have now done right by Minesweeper with an "ugly" Christmas jumper turning one of the most iconic PC games of all time into a blocky Christmas tree. For £58 (plus shipping), you can tell all your festive friends how little work you actually did on your PC in the 1990s. It's not bad!
]]>A ten-sided device appears in your hands. Each side features a carving of a wild animal, but three of the sides depict the face of an RPS writer instead. Look, there’s Matt. And yes, this one is John. The side with Brendan is a bit grubby, but it’s unmistakeably him. Smells a bit weird. What could this mean? Of course! It’s the RPS podcast, the Electronic Wireless Show. Perhaps if you press down on these three journo mugs at the same time… aha! A telling click, and the sound of a delicate MP3. You’ve discovered the latest episode. They seem to be talking about puzzle games.
]]>For years I thought Minesweeper was a horrible trick. It was hidden in a folder in Windows 95 called Games, but it didn’t look like any game I wanted to play (which was mostly Quake, at the time). Bonus side eyes for Spider Solitaire, which sounds more exciting than it is because of the word ‘spider’.
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