Hey, it’s me. I was gone for a while, but now I’m back. Back to prematurely evaluate some early access games, like an impatient baker wrenching open the door of an oven and plunging his fist into a molten ball of uncooked dough. Like an open heart surgeon dialling down the anaesthesia to wake his patient up while they’re still on the operating table, just to let them know the operation is going okay. That’s me, that’s my job. Graham won’t let me review finished games in case I’m irreparably spoilt by an abundance of levels, features and polish. So here I sit, trapped in the RPS basement, waiting for scraps of half-done roguelikes to come clattering down the dumbwaiter they feed me sausages through. They told me a wizard has done a curse on the entire outside, so I wouldn’t even like it up there anyway.
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