Healthy eating is for suckers. Here we are, at the height of a long overdue spring, and everyone here has a persistent cold. In May, no less. I've even been going outside, and just last night I ate a vegetable. Well, there'll be no more of that. Instead, a steady diet of Unknown Pleasures will surely cure all ills.

Triumphantly returning to gorging on discounted pasties and cakes this week: nested heartbreak, non-awful high school comedy, and Argentinian dance-fights.

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